Emptiness and All Her Friends

[On the Edge]
Neither this nor that.
Not then, not now.
I am no one and you are nobody.
Here is none and there is nary.
This is nowhere and that is never(more).
We are nothing and they are naught.
The middle of nowhere
The sleep of night
The end of nowhere
The dead of night
Indian summer
Nuclear winter
Eclipse
Collapse
I feel dead as I begin to breathe
To fade
I feel worn as I begin to wake
To faint
I feel down as I begin to hope
To fall
I’m useless
I’m worthless
I’m hopeless
So why don’t you kill me?
They’re going to bury me alive
They’re going to burn me alive
They’re going to eat me alive
They’re going to bury me alive
And now I have
Starved to life
Drowned to life
Choked to life
Thirsted to life
How many times will I die?
How many ways will I die?
No signs of life
No signs of hope
Why did it take so long for this to die?
Why was it so hard for this to die?
The only freedom I found was the death of a weary life
It’s all that I’ve known
The only fairness I found was oppression
It’s all that I’ve understood
The only home I found was the pain of a strange place
It’s what I recognized
The only family I found was abuse
It’s what I’m familiar with
A hell, but it’s a hell that I am used to
The voices,
In my head,
Surrounding me,
Through me,
Some tell you they’re real,
Others say they’re fake.

Time
Then
Now

Space
There
Here

Reality?
So pretty, yet so empty.
The world blends into me.
I blend into the world.
We are One.
I feel that I am a part of it all.
We are Separate.
I feel that I am apart from it all.
We don’t exist.
I feel that there is no I or all.
It all seems right.
There are many me’s.
The one I see
The one others see
The one I see others see
The one that others see me see
Some see chaos,
Some see order,
Some see balance,
Order does not imply meaning,
Chaos does not imply nonsense,
Balance does not imply essence.

[Ctrl+Alt+Del]
Wasting life and withering to death
Fleeting time and fainting breath
Missed chances and lost moments
Waning hopes and waxing regrets
Ever so far away
Ever so long ago
Life is fading
Life is ending
one minute at a time
It’s just but a memory
Ever so welcoming
Ever so closely
Death is coming
Death is inviting
one guest at a time
It’s just a matter of time
Missing out
Clocking out
Stirring and spiraling into nothing
Everything falling and tumbling down
Everything trembling and crumbling
Circles and Helices,
Systems and Matrices,
Void and Emptiness,
Silence and Darkness
Losing my inspiration
and the last threads of frayed hopes
Losing my motivation
and the last fragments of shattered dreams
Losing my direction
and the last signs of forgotten way
Losing my determination
and the last spark of burnt out faith
the last grains scattered
and the last drops of consumed
All gone
All lost
Get a hold of your mind
February greens into Spring
May simmers into Summer
August rushes into Autumn
October whithers into Winter
The cold of November slips into call of March
Bearing the same weight as the world
The blood of June spills into the wake of September
Sharing the same fate as the stars
The morning sunlight shone on
the clothes sprawled across the floor and carpet
like autumn leaves scattered across the cold ground
from previous nights of bedroom arts and lovesounds
only echoes and impressions now
like incense embers resting on its own ashes
the birth of my emptiness
you gave my emptiness a name
we are now bound to caring for
our dear emptiness

[All Is In Equilibrium]
There is an equilibrium of all things,
Including feelings and emotions.
This is emotional equilibrium.
When someone feels empty,
There is a lack of happiness and joy,
a lack of purpose and meaning.
There is a vacuum.
There is a void.
And so the external world begins
to compress upon the empty self.
This is the root of pressure.
The feelings of stress and loneliness arise.
This is pressure.
The empty will feel pressure
And the pressured will feel depressed
as happiness and joy are forced out by pressure.
This compression raises the temperature.
The feelings of anger and desperation
This is temperature.
This is heat.
Eventually this emptiness causes
so much pressure and temperature
that the heart becomes crushed and distorted…